Falling for Him Page 5

  I had tried calling Monica last night because I was desperate to talk to someone but I’d ended up leaving her a voice mail instead when she hadn’t answered her phone. I even tried calling her again this morning but she still wasn’t answering.

  Mom and I shared small talk while waiting on our food. She asked me how school was going and seemed rather surprised when I told her how I had been wrong about Bishop. I was actually enjoying my classes so far and was looking forward to going back on Monday. I mentioned some of the assignments I was working on including the group project in my World Religions class. I couldn’t bring myself to mention Jaime though. Some things are just better left unsaid when it came to your mother.

  The thought occurred to me neither Jaime nor I had mentioned exchanging phone numbers. I realize it’s just one more indicator that Jaime wasn’t single but in the back of my mind, I still had that little bit of hope. There had to be a legitimate reason for his previous behavior.

  I felt my face redden just thinking about it.

  “Honey, are you okay?” Mom asked me, taking me away from my thoughts.

  “I’m fine, mom. I just remembered something I was planning to working on this weekend.”

  After our lunch, I tried my best to enjoy an afternoon of shopping at the mall. Mom helped me pick out a couple of new outfits and all I could think about was wearing them in front of Jaime. Was I wrong for wanting to show off my new wrap around top that sort of revealed a little too much cleavage? I know it was more suitable for wearing out but I kept thinking how cute it would look with my denim skirt and ballet flats.

  I also tried on a pair of heels that were to die for. They were not classroom appropriate but maybe I could find something to pair them up with for one of the nights we were meeting up at the library. I could always say I had come straight from work and hadn’t had time to change. Only Jaime would know the truth since none of the others knew I worked at a clothing boutique at the mall. It could be our secret.

  This whole thing was getting out of control, at least on my part. My mind was going places it had never been before.

  On Sunday, I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure and decided to pay a visit to the tanning salon. Even though I had spent time out in the sun over the summer, I wanted to add a little more color to my already sun-kissed glow. Anything to get Jaime’s attention.

  Later that night, I finished up my essay for English class and looked over my notes for my Religions class. I couldn’t afford to get behind on anything especially this class. According to the syllabus we were having our first test the following week and I made a mental note to see if Jaime wanted to meet next weekend at the library so we could prepare together.

  On Tuesday night, I dressed in my new wrap around top, mini skirt, and a really cute pair of sandals. I couldn’t make myself wear the heels just yet. I picked out a long necklace to wear that hung just at the top of my breasts. I was seriously losing my mind if I thought this was going to go unnoticed. I needed a quick reminder this wasn’t some bar I was going to, it was a freaking classroom. A classroom about religion at that! Seriously, get a grip Erica.

  I parked out next to the road so I could watch for the bus to drive up. I wanted to plan it just right and walk up as soon as Jaime got off instead of him finding me already seated in the classroom. Looking in my rearview mirror, I rechecked my hair and makeup for the third time. I’d never been so worried about my appearance. The previous guys I had dated, you know, the ones closer to my own age, hadn’t really cared how much time and effort I had put into making myself pretty. Their main concern had been getting laid regardless of what hair and makeup had looked like.

  Speaking of age, could I seriously date someone thirteen years older than me? I mean, it’s not like he looks that much older. I’ve seen couples like that but it was usually a much older man, like fifty or sixty, with a really young blonde who’s just after his money and waiting for him die. What could two people so far apart in age really have in common with each other?

  But Jaime, on the other hand, there’s some kind of attraction and I think he feels it too. He had, after all, made a few attempts at touching my leg and standing up close behind me.

  I looked down at the time on my phone and realized I needed to be heading inside to class or I was going to be late. The bus still had not shown up and I wondered if maybe it had come early and I’d just missed it.

  Walking into the classroom, I looked around and noticed none of the guys who wore the Falcon Club jumpsuits were here tonight. Not Hector. And not Jaime. I remained hopeful the bus was just running late like last time.

  I took my seat next to Ray and he did a double take at my outfit. Just the way he noticed me made me feel somewhat sick to my stomach and I wondered if I’d made a mistake in dressing this way tonight. Ray was probably close in age to my father and it just made me feel gross knowing he was checking me out.

  The instructor walked in and closed the door behind him. He got started right away on the next chapter and I couldn’t help but feel a little down that Jaime wasn’t here.

  I heard the door open and close and I looked around hoping it was him. But it wasn’t. Another student had come in late and sat down at one of the tables on the back row. I looked over at Ray and he shook his head. It was like he knew. He knew there was something going on.

  After the first hour, Professor Jordon released us for a break.

  “You know, you need to stop putting yourself out there for him.” Ray mumbled before standing up from his chair.

  “Excuse me?” I know I must have had a really strange look on my face but I wasn’t exactly sure I’d heard him correctly.

  “Do you know how silly you look?” He went on to degrade me. “It’s obvious you don’t know much about him or his friends.”

  I realized Ray was trying to tell me something I had obviously overlooked. “I’m not sure I know what you’re implying.”

  “For crying out loud. Do you not know what the Falcon Club is?” He said it like I was stupid or something.

  I shook my head, confused.

  “They’re federal inmates, Erica. You’re practically throwing yourself at him and it looks absurd. You’re much better than that.”

  I wanted to literally crawl under the table and die. Did I just hear him correctly? Did he say federal inmate? That Jaime was in prison? I wasn’t prepared for this bit of information at all.

  I felt my stomach begin to knot and I did my best to keep from throwing up. How had I missed that the gray jumpsuits were for prisoners and not a military group?

  Ray laughed again and made his way out of the classroom.

  Still in shock, I grabbed my purse and books and literally ran to my car. I could not sit in the classroom any longer, especially next to Ray, knowing the way I had been flirting with Jaime. My God, I must be a complete moron not to see this. Thank goodness he wasn’t here tonight to see this all take place. And what the heck was he is prison for?

  The more I thought about it, I couldn’t help myself. I opened the car door and threw up. I’d not ate much today, but everything came up. I coughed and tried not to choke from the bile that burned in my throat.

  This had to be one of the stupidest things I think I’d ever done in my life. And now, how was I going to fix it?

  Instead of going home I decided to drive around. I rolled down the car windows and let the night air fill the inside. The fresh air felt good against my clammy skin. I couldn’t stay on base any longer because it only made me think of him so I left and headed out of town towards my old neighborhood. I passed my old high school and realized just how much I missed it. We were all so young and innocent just a couple of months ago. And just when I was starting to really enjoy my first year of college, I had to do something stupid like flirt with a convict. Okay, so maybe flirt was putting it lightly. Had my life been so bad that I was blinded by something that was so obvious to everyone else? A federal inmate was a big deal. It’s no wonder Ray laughed when I had
offered to take Jaime home.

  Later that night, when I realized the situation wasn’t going to get any better, I finally decided to go home. I prayed my mom and Beth would already be in bed so I wouldn’t have to explain why I was so upset. I curled up in my bed and buried my head underneath my pillow. It wasn’t the most comfortable position since I was having a hard time breathing, but I felt like I was hidden away from the world, away from anyone else who had been aware of what I’d been doing. I was ashamed and deeply embarrassed. I cried to the point I no longer had any tears left. Finally, I drifted off to sleep.

  Over and over, I kept seeing images of Jaime with his beautiful smile, ponytail, and muscular arms. Then, I would see him standing behind bars with his arms handcuffed behind his back. None of it made sense to me. If he were in prison then why was he free to roam around? On the other hand, what if Ray were just making it all up? It would be a cruel joke if it was made up but I had to get to the bottom of it.

  The next morning I woke with a terrible headache. My eyes were red and swollen and I felt horrible. Anyone else would have thought I was coming down with something.

  Mom knocked on the door and startled me. “Honey, are you awake? You’re going to be late for work.”

  I rolled over and pretended to go back to sleep but it didn’t stop her from walking on in my room. I opened my eyes to find her standing over my bed. When she saw my face, she immediately leaned over to place her hand on my forehead as though she were checking to see if I had a fever.

  “Baby, are you coming down with something?” I detected the concerned tone in her voice but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth.

  Finally, I lowered the covers down from my face. “I don’t feel so good, mom.”

  “I’ll call Joann and tell her you’re not coming in today. You just stay right here in bed.” I felt bad for not being honest with my mother but I just wanted some time to myself. I needed time to think about the mess I had gotten myself into and how I planned to handle it. I couldn’t just ditch the group, after all our grade depended on participation, and I didn’t think dropping the class was the answer either. What was I going to do?

  I knew staying home from work today was my only option. I wasn’t even sure I’d feel up to going to class tonight either.

  Mom came back into my room with a glass of juice and some Tylenol.

  “Here sweetie. Take these and hopefully they’ll make you feel better.”

  I tried to sit up in bed so I wouldn’t spill the juice all over myself but it only made the pain in my head hurt worse.

  “Thanks mom.” I knew taking the medicine wouldn’t hurt me since I truly wasn’t ill in the way she suspected. I’d almost rather be sick with the flu than have to deal with the situation at hand.

  “Joann said to tell you she hoped you felt better soon.”

  Mom and my boss were good friends so I knew Joann would be sympathetic.

  When I heard the front door close and I knew my mother was gone for the day, I crawled out of bed. One look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I was ready to crawl back underneath the covers. I poured a cup of coffee but couldn’t bring myself to drink it. My nerves were shot and my stomach couldn’t handle anything right now.

  Grabbing my pillow and my favorite blanket, I curled up on the couch and it wasn’t long before I fell into a deep sleep.

  The sound of my phone ringing woke me. I knew from the ring tone it was my mother, probably calling to check on me, but I let her leave a voicemail and I rolled back over on my back.

  I stared up at the ceiling trying to figure out how I was going to deal with all of this. I mean, I can’t totally blame Jaime for my being clueless. How was he supposed to know I had no idea what the Falcon Club meant? I’m sure he thought I had been playing right along. But when I had mentioned taking him home that night, come to think of it, he had reacted strangely. So here I was thinking he had turned me down because he was married. Ha! I would almost rather have found out he was married than to find out all of this.

  My mind was flooded with a million questions.

  Weren’t inmates supposed to wear striped outfits with plastic shoes? Wait a minute? If Jaime was in prison, why was he, as well as the other guys in my classes, allowed to attend college classes and mingle with everyone else? Shouldn’t he be locked up behind bars with tight security? Is he a possible threat?

  I realized it wasn’t doing me any good to lay here. I took a long, hot shower and was disappointed I had wasted the majority of the day. My class tonight was not out on the military base, but rather at the main campus. But, I was supposed to be meeting Jaime, Hector and Ray shortly afterwards at the library so we could work on our project again. I wondered if I could bring myself to make it. Could I look at Jaime or Ray the same anymore? Or did I put up a front and pretend it didn’t bother me?

  I bet Ray was still laughing about the look on my face last night when he’d made his announcement. Ray was a jerk and I didn’t like him one bit.

  Chapter Six

  I walked into my English class behind a couple of other students. Up on the dry erase board was a note from the instructor.

  “Class cancelled tonight. Please see syllabus for class assignment and take one of the handouts from the front table. Class will resume next week.”

  This was just great! What was I supposed to do while I waited until it was time to go to the library? Had I known class would be cancelled, I probably would have just stayed at home and said screw the library. But I’d forced myself to get ready; I had to face the truth eventually.

  I’d made up my mind I wasn’t going to let this drag me down any more than what it already had. Ray may have made me out to be a joke but I’d show him. He may have seen me as week and naïve but I was not going to let him have the last laugh.

  I grabbed an iced coffee at the campus coffee shop downstairs and sipped on it as I drove out to the military base. It was the only thing I’d had all day and I hoped it didn’t make me sick to my stomach. I figured I might was well take advantage of some study time before the guys showed up.

  The entire drive, my hands trembled and I found it hard to hold onto my cup. And to make matters worse, as I handed over my military pass to the guard manning the entrance, I accidentally dropped it and he had to step outside the gatehouse to pick it up from the ground. Get a grip Erica. Stay focused and stay strong. I kept telling myself over and over.

  “Have a good evening, ma’am.” He saluted me and waved me on through.

  I parked as close to the library as I could and looked around the parking lot before getting out of my car. There was no sign of anyone and I hoped I could sneak inside without being noticed. I tossed my bag over my shoulder and walked as quickly as I could.

  Our previous meeting spot had been on the second floor so I went on up to grab a table. Hopefully there’d be an available table facing the elevators so I could keep an eye on who got here first. I didn’t want any surprises tonight.

  As I stepped out of the elevator, I noticed it was quieter than normal. I placed my bag down on the table then went to the bathroom. I took my time, double checking my appearance before I walked back out. I hoped no one noticed the puffiness that was still underneath my eyes. I had definitely toned down my clothes this evening opting for a t-shirt and khaki shorts. And they weren’t short either! In fact, they looked more like the shorts that we were allowed to wear back in high school. My knees were barely visible underneath the hem if that tells you anything. I was definitely going for the “scaled back” look so that no one got the wrong impression about me tonight. That’s right Ray, kiss my ass.

  I grabbed a sip of water from the water fountain and swished it around in my mouth to get rid of the coffee I still tasted. When I turned around to walk back to the table, I thought I was going to choke before I could finish swallowing my water. I began to cough uncontrollably, embarrassed once again.

  Sitting on the couch, across from the table where I’d left my
bag, was Jaime. But this was a different Jaime from what I had seen just last week. He still wore his grey jumpsuit but his hair had been cut. And when I say cut, it was more than just a trim. His ponytail was gone and it was almost as short as a crew cut style. I did a double take and felt my insides tighten.

  “Hello.” Just hearing his voice and his accent sent goose bumps throughout my body.

  “Hhh….Hi yourself. Wh…what are you doing here already?” I stuttered my words, obvious that he had taken me by surprise. It didn’t matter how bad I wanted to be mad at him because of the situation, I just couldn’t. Technically, he hadn’t done anything wrong.

  “I wanted to see you.” He told me then patted the seat next to him on the couch.

  “But how did you know I would get here early?” Heck, even I hadn’t known that.

  “I didn’t.” His eyes were a beautiful golden brown tonight, almost like creamy milk chocolate. They were drawing me to him.

  “Then how did you know I was already here and this was my stuff?” I know I should have been nervous, especially since finding out Jaime was a convict, but nothing about this conversation frightened me in the least. My body was telling me to take a seat next to him and I was doing everything within my power to stand still and not join him just yet. But the forces were pulling me to him.

  What would anyone else think if they walked up and saw us seated so close together? A convict and a civilian. I’m convinced I was the only one who hadn’t known what that grey jumpsuit symbolized.

  “Erica?”